Twas the Night Before Retrieval.....

And all through the hotel room.....

Since our Fertility Clinic is three hours from our home, we decided to spend the night before in a hotel . Therefore, we have no worries of being late and missing the opportunity.

It really frustrates us that we do not have a Fertility Clinic in our town of 300,00. If you count in the surrounding areas...the population is almost 400,00. Having to drive three hours there and three hours back has taken a toll. Though, it is something we have had to just deal with.

As I sit in this hotel room tonight, watching my husband flip through the channels.....I am trying to remain calm. Though, on the inside, I am a "hot mess!"

But there is another part of me that is very excited! Excited on what tomorrow may bring. Excited that tomorrow is my birthday. Excited that my Mother and little man will be home to greet me with a birthday surprise that they are "cooking" up!

With all my failed IUI's, I never really had a good feeling. I always knew deep down that I wasn't pregnant...way before I could test positive. But this time, I have this feeling that things are going to go great! I am hoping that this feeling is true. But I am being very realistic and also preparing myself for the worse tomorrow. Having only one ovary, my chances of having more than six eggs are slim. So, I am praying for at least 5 to 6 eggs...but realizing that I could have less.

God has been good to me. He has provided me with a son that I thought I would never have. I have to continue to have faith in him. I have to believe that he knows whats in my best interest.

Tomorrow is the day that I was welcomed into the world. And hopefully, another creation will start that process as well.

OMG!!!

Yesterday, while fixing my hair....there it was!!!! Staring at me in the mirror. It wasn't small. It was very long and was sticking out and laughing at me!!

MY FIRST GRAY HAIR!!! It wasn't a new hair that had just come in. O no, it was as long as the rest of my hair. I know I am about to turn 31 tomorrow and with all the stress over the past year...doesn't surprise me! But I think it is a little symbolic that tomorrow is my 31st birthday, my first egg retrieval and I just found my first gray hair!

I hope I don't find another one anytime soon!

Eight

That is number of follicles today! Though, only seven are good enough to produce eggs. I am still happy with this number. Three of the follicles are mature enough but the rest they would like to still grow a little. So, one more night of shots and then trigger shot Tuesday night with Thursday being the retrieval date.

Thursday, is my 31st Birthday! I have mixed feelings about this. Its my birthday....so it has to be a good day,right? Well, that's also April Fools! So, will God be playing a trick on me that day? Will he say...."you got tons of eggs and they all look great! Just Kidding! April Fools!"

Having my birthday on April Fools has always been fun. Since my name is also April....I have gotten a lot of "fun" grief. For my birthday this year, I just have one wish. Just one embryo to survive to implant. I don't want any diamonds or a trip to Jamaica. Just a successful embryo transfer.

I am still taking it one step at a time. And the next step is the trigger shot on Tuesday night. I have given this shot many times before with the IUI's. But this time....it will feel a little different. This is our only chance at having another biological child. We will not be able to afford another Fresh Cycle.

Once I give the trigger shot....its all in God's hands!

Hello...hello...? Is this thing on?

Since I changed my blog address last month, I feel like no one is reading my blog!! Is anyone out there?

Five

That is number of follicles that I currently have. There are possibly two more. The follicles that I do have are the correct size and hopefully.....two or more will show up on the Monday sonogram. I have to say that I was a little disappointed with this number. When on clomid, I usually have three follicles. So, I was sure that there would be at least twice the amount being on the shots. I am just praying that two more show up on Monday.

Trying to send all my good vibes to my one lonely ovary, Opal.(Yes, I have named her LOL) Hang in there....just one more baby is all I want. Then you can be retire and just relax!

My new friends

Low Dose HCG and Lupron x2 daily = $287.29
Menopur x3 vials daily - $399.50 a box = $1,997.50

Gonal-F x1 daily -$358.50 a box =$1,792.50

My nightly meds!

With all the "Heath Care Reform" stuff going on....just wondering if Infertility Coverage will be part of the new Reform?

Estrodial and more

Started my five shots a day on Sunday. I feel like I have the flu. No energy at all! I give my morning shot at 8:00 a.m. and around 11ish, I feel like I am going to pass out if I don't eat something. After I eat something, I feel normal. (Well, as normal as I can feel!) And then the rest of the day, I am exhausted. Has anyone had these symptoms? I am starting to get the "Full stomach" symptom!

Yesterday morning I went for my Estrodial blood work. They want it to be between 100-200 and mine was 150! So, perfect! I go on Friday for my sonogram and hoping everything is working correctly. I am afraid of a cancellation.

So far, I am doing ok on the shots. Better than I thought I was going to be. I am just praying for a good sonogram on Friday. I am taking it one blood test and sonogram at a time. Blood work yesterday = good. (One down)

I received a present in the mail today....

A very expensive present!!!!

Suppressed

Just got home from my Suppression appointment and everything is quiet! My ovary that is! I ordered the $2,275.76 worth of medicine tonight and should receive them on Thursday. With Friday being the first shot.
Today, I spent a total of $11,275.76. Makes me very anxious to know that we will spend all this money and nothing may come out of it. That is one of my biggest fears. We spend all this money and have nothing to show for. Then our monthly payments will remind me of what we DO NOT have. The guilt of our monthly battles of making the payments and us scraping by because I cant have a child naturally!
I am trying to stay positive and I know everything will work out like it should. I have faith in Gods plan. I just wonder if he has faith in me?

Positive Side

While, reading through one of my Photography Magazines....I got an idea. I read how a woman hired a photographer to follow her during her battle with breast cancer. He came to every appointment, surgery, and chemo sessions. Then made a book out of it.

Thus, the idea began. I am going to document my IVF journey through photography. I will take my camera with me to every appointment and try to document as much as possible. Hopefully, a BFP will come out of the IVF and therefore, I will make my own book with a happy ending.

I have decided that the first part of the book will be in Black and White...then if a BFP happens...the rest in color!

I have got to find something to help me cope with this process...and I believe taking pictures will help me with this process. Some people go for massages, others go to therapist...I take pictures!

As they always say..."A picture is worth 1,000 words!"

Just call me Grandma

That is what I feel like when I take all this medicine. Today, was my first day to start all of these at once. I know its nothing compared to what I will start in a couple of weeks, but I felt like my dear Grandma! :)

Every morning, my Grandma gets out her "Pill Organizer" and takes all of her meds for the day. After opening and closing six different medicines this morning...I laughed to myself of the idea of me needing my own "Pill Organizer."

Hey! I have to find the humor somehow in this process.... right? ;)

Health Kick

So, I should have been doing this all along...but cant go back in time. I have started on a very strict diet for the next month. Hopefully, a month will be enough. I found that lots of research suggested that the embryos that didn't take had tons of "Bad fat" in them. And of course, the ones that did take...had lots of "good fat."

I never really have had bad eating habits. I just never really watched it either. We hardly ever go out to eat. I mostly cook at home. When I get hungry, for a snack, I would eat peanut butter crackers. Now.....orange and some almonds. My breakfast meal usually involved a Pop-Tart and a Dr. Pepper. Now....Oatmeal, and a Caffeine free Dr. Pepper. (cant give up the D.P. all together.lol)

I am hoping to lose a couple of pounds with this as well as becoming healthier. Also hoping it will help with the IVF. I know it sounds silly...but we are about to give $14,000 to this process and I want to make sure that "I" have done everything on my side that I can! I just hope its not too late!