What is the true meaning of family?

When I use to hear the word "family" I would immediately think of my relatives that I am blood related to. They consisted of a Mom, Dad, Sister, Grandpa, Grandma...etc. Though these are my blood family...my definition of what the word family means as changed.

I have a 'good' relationship with my sister. Not great, but not bad. We are completely two different women that just happen to come from the same Mother. We live two completely different lives. I love my sister and would do anything for her. But our relationship has become different as we have grown older.

As I started the IVF journey almost three months ago, she was not on board with the idea. She told my Mother that it was wrong that I was creating life this way. Her exact words..."Its not ok to kill someone...but its ok to create a life?"

We both grew up Catholic. Went to a private Catholic School. Everyone in our family is Catholic. So, it didn't surprise me too much that she felt this way. I understood where she was coming from but since she had not been in my shoes, she had no right to judge.

She actually never told me how she felt about this situation...I accidentally read it on an email that was sent to my Mother. So, I was even more hurt that she was pretending to support me through this hard journey called IVF...but yet criticizing my judgement behind my back.

Four years ago, we moved away from family for my husbands job. I thought the world had ended. I was almost three months pregnant and had no one here to share it with. It was a very miserable time. All I wanted to do was move back closer to family.

But after two years of living here....we have got a new family. Friends! We have a handful (if not more) of friends that will go above and beyond for us. Friends that will stop everything and help us out with babysitting accommodations.

When I started the IVF process, I had so many friends that checked in on me. Friends that sent flowers. Friends that pitched in and bought me a Spa gift card. Friends that gave me their DVD collection to watch while on bedrest. Friends that just happen to be nurses and would give me the booty shots. (now, that is a good friend) All around just awesome friends.

This weekend, my sister and her husband came to visit. We had a 'good' time but the whole time she was here...I was wondering if she was judging me. Judging me for giving my son a hot dog instead of an Organic Hot dog. Or judging me because my son still sucks his thumb. I never truly know what she thinks of me. She says one thing...but I have found that is not necessarily how she truly feels.

As my sister and I were in the car...we were talking about if we would ever move back to Texas. I told her that we were not going anywhere any time soon. (if ever) She seemed a little shocked..and I didn't go into detail. But we have family here,now! When I feel like I cant be myself around a blood family member...then it makes me super grateful for our friends that have now become a part of our family and whom I can be myself around.

When I became pregnant with my first child, my sister was the first person I called. Not my husband but my sister. With this next child, I am not sure when I will call her. Trying to become pregnant with this child has taken a toll on my family. It has shown me how they truly feel about infertility. So, if I happen to become pregnant again through infertility...I shall tell the 'family' that supported me through this difficult time.

I am not writing this blog to bash my sister. She would do anything for me as well. I just wish that I could be myself around her. I wish I could let my hair down in front of her and let her see who I truly am!

My mother was amazing through the process. She came and stayed with us for two weeks during the IVF. But just like my sister, I am not quite sure what she thinks of it all either. I get mixed emotions from her from time to time. My sister and Mom is the reason why I closed my other blog and never told them about this one.

Family is mostly defined as someone that has come from the same background/genes. But as I was shown this weekend, family is much more than that. Embrace your friends as they can sometimes be the only ones that truly appreciate who you are!