Lately, I have been fixating on trying to feel the baby move. For some reason, I am panicking that when I go next Wednesday for my five month sono, they will not find a heartbeat. I cant help but think that this pregnancy was a miracle and that something is going to happen. I know I shouldn't think like that...but I am. I need to stop.
I guess I have had so much "loss" in my life for the past two years that I am still expecting that feeling. I am trying to enjoy it...but cant help but wonder if everything will be alright at the sonogram on Wednesday.
Deep in my heart, I know everything is fine. I am still sick...which is a good sigh, I guess. And I do feel the baby move. But after having so much loss in my life when it comes to babys...its hard for me to think positive.
I am just ready for the sonogram to find out the sex. Then I think I will be better. Like I said in my previous post...it will make it more real. I can start planning the nursery. Start shopping. Start looking at names. Making it more real.
There is no reason to worry about the baby besides me being just plain scared!
Life
5 years ago
I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. I was nervous the entire time w/both of mine. Can't wait to find out what you are having, I'm sending pink vibes your way so you get one of each!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a normal reaction. I had to buy a doppler to help me through my panic at times. Have you considered this? Also, and even though I am at a point in my pregnancy where I can feel her every day, I still will occasionally use my doppler and it makes me feel more comforted. I would consider it!
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