Its a .....?

Healthy little boy! Everything looked great. At this Thanksgiving...we are thankful for so much in our lives. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!!

I need to stop!!!

Lately, I have been fixating on trying to feel the baby move. For some reason, I am panicking that when I go next Wednesday for my five month sono, they will not find a heartbeat. I cant help but think that this pregnancy was a miracle and that something is going to happen. I know I shouldn't think like that...but I am. I need to stop.

I guess I have had so much "loss" in my life for the past two years that I am still expecting that feeling. I am trying to enjoy it...but cant help but wonder if everything will be alright at the sonogram on Wednesday.

Deep in my heart, I know everything is fine. I am still sick...which is a good sigh, I guess. And I do feel the baby move. But after having so much loss in my life when it comes to babys...its hard for me to think positive.

I am just ready for the sonogram to find out the sex. Then I think I will be better. Like I said in my previous post...it will make it more real. I can start planning the nursery. Start shopping. Start looking at names. Making it more real.

There is no reason to worry about the baby besides me being just plain scared!

Sorry!!

I am still here! I am very sorry that I have been out of touch recently.

I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and still very sick. To date, I have lost 19 pounds. Doctor isnt too concerned yet due to the baby is on schedule as far as size. He said as long as I am keeping one meal down a day...then I am good. Some days, I can keep more than that down. But then there are others that are just plain terrible. Days that make me want to stay in bed all day.

We find out the sex of the baby on the 24th of this month. I am super excited to find out. I think it will make it all more real. Plus, it will make my throwing up daily a little easier to know that this is really happening! There really is a baby inside of me!

I have thought about writing on here many times....but I feel guilty for being pregnant. I was once in those shoes reading other women's blog about becoming pregnant. I pray daily for those struggling with infertility. I pray that there will be an answer, one way or another for each and everyone of them.

I promise, I will write more often. I am sorry that I have been gone for so long. I am a part time photographer and this is my busiest time of the year. That, having a three year old, and being sick on top of it all....I barely have time to think! But I promise I will keep you guys up to date!

Thanks for the kind words!