Its a .....?

Healthy little boy! Everything looked great. At this Thanksgiving...we are thankful for so much in our lives. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!!

I need to stop!!!

Lately, I have been fixating on trying to feel the baby move. For some reason, I am panicking that when I go next Wednesday for my five month sono, they will not find a heartbeat. I cant help but think that this pregnancy was a miracle and that something is going to happen. I know I shouldn't think like that...but I am. I need to stop.

I guess I have had so much "loss" in my life for the past two years that I am still expecting that feeling. I am trying to enjoy it...but cant help but wonder if everything will be alright at the sonogram on Wednesday.

Deep in my heart, I know everything is fine. I am still sick...which is a good sigh, I guess. And I do feel the baby move. But after having so much loss in my life when it comes to babys...its hard for me to think positive.

I am just ready for the sonogram to find out the sex. Then I think I will be better. Like I said in my previous post...it will make it more real. I can start planning the nursery. Start shopping. Start looking at names. Making it more real.

There is no reason to worry about the baby besides me being just plain scared!

Sorry!!

I am still here! I am very sorry that I have been out of touch recently.

I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and still very sick. To date, I have lost 19 pounds. Doctor isnt too concerned yet due to the baby is on schedule as far as size. He said as long as I am keeping one meal down a day...then I am good. Some days, I can keep more than that down. But then there are others that are just plain terrible. Days that make me want to stay in bed all day.

We find out the sex of the baby on the 24th of this month. I am super excited to find out. I think it will make it all more real. Plus, it will make my throwing up daily a little easier to know that this is really happening! There really is a baby inside of me!

I have thought about writing on here many times....but I feel guilty for being pregnant. I was once in those shoes reading other women's blog about becoming pregnant. I pray daily for those struggling with infertility. I pray that there will be an answer, one way or another for each and everyone of them.

I promise, I will write more often. I am sorry that I have been gone for so long. I am a part time photographer and this is my busiest time of the year. That, having a three year old, and being sick on top of it all....I barely have time to think! But I promise I will keep you guys up to date!

Thanks for the kind words!

Still Alive....

And yes...still pregnant. 11 weeks today!

I am sorry I haven't posted in almost a month but this pregnancy has got me on the couch as much as possible. Not because of possible miscarriage...but because of trying to keep food down. I have currently lost 8 pounds. I am sick morning, noon, and night. Every once in a while...I will get lucky and have a middle of the night sickness! ;) I am on all the meds I can be on. Have tried every trick in the book. And I even got a cool wrist watch looking thingy that shoots electrical shocks to my stomach. None of them work.

Other than being very sick, everything is going great! Its still hard to believe some times that this is happening. I am almost done with the first trimester and only pray that the sickness will get better with the 2nd. Will try to get you more up to day!

Our Little Peanut

Meet our little peanut! This little peanut has caused so much drama in its first 8 weeks of life that everyone is convinced that it is a girl! LOL.

Went to our RE today and everything looked great. Due date is still April 14, 2011..but since I will have a scheduled C-section I could schedule it for as early as April 7th! We are still in shock but thanking God every day for this miracle!

Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday...O MY~

Friday - I had already had my annual Pelvic and Pap Smear scheduled two months ago. It was expired and I went ahead and made it not knowing that I would be become pregnant. So, Friday morning, I had my annual stuff done. Thought he might do a quick sonogram but he didnt. Scheduled one for Sept. 1st.

Friday night - Inserted my progesterone supplement and there it was...bright red blood. This could not be happening. I immediately called my friend who is an OBGYN Nurse in Labor and Delivery. She lives down the street and came over. I also called my next door neighbor, "Big Sister" Michelle, who also works as a nurse. After my OBGYN friend examined my blood (Yes, we are that close! lol)...she was convinced that the Pelvic and Pap caused the bleeding. So, did the on call doctor. Fall asleep crying and hoping that I would not become pregnant and have a miscarriage the whole time my husband is in China.

Saturday morning - Woke up to lots of cramping and more blood. Decided to go to the ER. Had a neighbor watch Conner. A friend met me there. Saw the baby for the first time. Heart rate was perfect....122bpm. Cervix was closed. BETA was 55,000+. Of course, the stupid doctor that looked younger than me didnt know if it was caused from the Pap/Pelvic or if I was going to miscarry. But since everything looked good with my numbers and the baby... it was probably from the Pap/Pelvic.

Saturday afternoon- bleeding had stopped.

Saturday night - Pick husband up from the airport and just cry in his arms for about an hour when we get home.

Sunday - Threw up pretty much all day long.

Monday - Threw up all day. Called doctors office to ask for some meds for sickness. When the doctors office called back..they said..."We forgot to tell you on Friday that sometimes a Pap and Pelvic can cause bleeding for 24 to 72 hours after it has been done. Especially on early pregnant women. Did you have any?"

Due Date: April 14, 2011. 7 weeks pregnant.

Chillin

Some of you are wanting more updates...but I don't have any. Which is good, I think. I am currently visiting my parents in Texas until Thursday. Just relaxing and trying to take it easy. I have an OBGYN appointment on Friday. Then my first sonogram on the 27Th. Still on supplements twice a day. Other than that....just chillin!

So, that is all the news I have right now. Will update you after my OBGYN appointment on Friday!